


I'm mad, okay?

by lemonade_zest



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, How Do I Tag, M/M, No Beta, Victor with a K, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:36:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28936389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonade_zest/pseuds/lemonade_zest
Summary: Viktor is mad at Yuuri for a plethora of reasons, and he just needs to sort through it all.Takes place during episode 12 after the Viktor crying scene.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	I'm mad, okay?

_ “Damn… I didn’t expect Katsuki Yuri to be such a selfish human being _ .”

Viktor inwardly cursed at himself, chest tight. He had hardly slept a wink the night before, so his limbs were sore. Yet, he decided to take a walk as soon as the sun rose, partially to avoid talking to Yuuri. He was afraid he might say something to the impressionable skater that would hinder his last performance.  _ His last performance _ . 

The man had so much more potential, so much more to do and he was quitting now? Somewhere in Viktor’s mind he was a little bit flattered that Yuuri would give up his skating career for him, but his anger overpowered any of that now. 

_ “Let’s end this.”  _

Ironic how that sounded so much like a breakup, because it sure felt like one. Viktor couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that Yuuri said that to him while they both wore golden rings to signify their relationship ( _ whatever the hell it even was _ ). He felt tears well up in his eyes just thinking about it, and he suddenly hated that Yuuri had such power over his emotions. The man could make him feel calm or giddy or distraught or just plain  _ angry _ . And Viktor was never mad, he always kept his emotions in check.  _ And yet he made you cry _ . He could still feel the delicate touch of Yuuri’s hand on his forehead as he gently moved his bangs from his teary eyes. He could still feel on his own hand where he had slapped Yuuri’s hand away. Just thinking about it made him want to yell. 

_ “I’m mad, okay?” _

And the shock on Yuuri’s face was priceless, but it only made Viktor more frustrated. How could he value himself so little that he believed Viktor would just be okay with  _ leaving? _ Viktor was well aware of how blatantly ignorant Yuuri could be at times, but this? It was just downright agitating. Of course he missed competing, and perhaps he had shown that a bit too much the day before. Perhaps he should’ve focused on Yuuri more than the other skaters. But how had Yuuri not considered he could be in the picture, too? Why was Yuuri so quick to just completely rule himself out?

_ “You don’t have to worry about me--” _

One would think being selfish and self-deprecating at the same time would be impossible, and yet Yuuri managed to do both. In his selfish act of retiring, he was throwing away his relationship with Viktor,  _ does he really think I care that little? _ But, no, Viktor had been extremely forward with him on multiple occasions, and on purpose, too. At first, it had been because of the banquet, and how Yuuri had acted when drunk. After he realized that Yuuri didn’t remember that, he just kept being himself, as Yuuri had previously asked of him. And being himself involved showing his affection very blatantly.  _ You must realize that I don’t act this way with everyone I meet. _

_ “How can you tell me to return to the ice while saying you’re retiring?!” _

The words still burned in his throat. He had grabbed Yuuri by the shoulders and stared him straight in the eyes while his tears still fell, just  _ willing _ him to understand. He didn’t, though, he stared at Viktor back, frozen. He suggested they get to sleep. Viktor didn’t respond, letting go of Yuuri and looking at him incredulously. The other avoided his eyes.  _ He looked so damn guilty.  _ Viktor hadn’t spoken to Yuuri since then. 

Why not  _ both? _ Why had Yuuri not realized that Viktor could want both to compete and coach at the same time? Why had Yuuri been so quick to decide he just didn’t matter? That’s what made him so mad. That’s what made tears burn in his eyes in the cold morning air as he took a seat on a bench, legs sore from a restless night. Viktor cursed aloud, wiping his eyes. He found himself staring down at the ring on his finger which he had not removed since Yuuri had slid it onto his finger with a sheepish smile. He thought it all meant something, the rings, their embraces, every little interaction the two shared. It was clear to Viktor and to the world that their coach-skater relationship was far from typical, so was Yuuri really just  _ that _ ignorant? 

_ You can’t just say “let’s end this” to the man you just bought a gold ring for, you idiot.  _ Viktor spoke to Yuuri in his head, only because speaking aloud would make him look even more unstable than he already was. He found that he was still crying.  _ You can’t just degrade yourself so much in front of the man who potentially gave up his skating career for you. _ His hands were clenched in white-knuckled fists, he hated crying so openly. _ I could never return to the ice and be okay with that as long as I am your coach! _

But Yuuri would argue,  _ “You’d be okay with it, but you wouldn’t be completely satisfied.”  _ Viktor knew it was true.  _ Then let’s do it together! Compete alongside me, let me coach you still! How can you not see that as the obvious solution? _

Viktor was mad because Yuuri valued himself so little that he thought Viktor had to choose one or the other. Perhaps Viktor wouldn’t win like he used to, having to juggle Yuuri’s competitions with his own, but, honestly, he stopped caring about his own career a while ago. He knew he was getting old for competition, that his body was becoming less capable of handling his complex routines. He certainly did not have Yuuri’s stamina. Competing was enough for Viktor, winning would be a perk. He’d much rather have Yuuri win, actually. That would make for a bigger surprise, a more satisfying conclusion.

He had to somehow convince Yuuri not to retire, then make it abundantly clear to him that he was an option, and always would be. Viktor was only half-joking when he said they were engaged. He knew their relationship was quite undefined but after this skating season Viktor couldn’t envision himself not living alongside Yuuri. He had given him more love than anyone had in his many years of competition. He made him feel fulfilled, and he wouldn’t give that up for the world. 

_ How do I show you? How do I make you understand that you will always be important to me, Yuuri? _

**Author's Note:**

> When I first watched the show when I was younger, I think I was attached to Yuuri more. Kind of the whole "uwu anxiety baby" type thing. But now, being a bit more mature, I've come to appreciate Viktor a bit more. He's so complex, his way of presenting his emotions so weird that you never really know what he's thinking. He's certainly very interesting.


End file.
